DO NOT SETTLE

My heart breaks with the broken lives that I’ve come to witness among the most cherished creatures I could ever empathize with – my fellow women. They are as wonderful as flowers to me. And I am crushed to agony seeing them end up in a trash than on the altar. Well, I cannot boast that I am better or stronger than they are. I am aware that I am as vulnerable as a petal could be. So as a gratitude to the Gardener’s hand who have kept me, I have written a message to all the young buds who are about to bloom, to try to preserve them as they open themselves to the atmosphere of this ephemeral world of love.

Dearest Gentle Flowers,

Do not settle:

Do not settle when everyone pressures you to settle just for the idea of being settled. It is a lie to think that to be settled is to be fulfilled.

Do not settle when you are in a hurry. Beautiful things take time; cheaper things were made rush. So don’t force things to happen if you want something that is worthwhile.

Do not settle just because you are lonely and in pain. Humans are the most uncertain things existing next to the weather – they’re this today and that tomorrow. To seek real comfort in another uncertain thing is as frustrating as finding a diamond in a sea of shattered glasses.

Do not settle just because you are afraid to “miss the bus”. Remember that if God meant something for you, no one can ever take it from His hand. Never by any chance will it belong to someone else.

Do not settle until you have peace in your heart. One way how God confirms His will to us is by giving us perfect peace. To have the approval of God is to have peace within regardless of the circumstances.

Do not settle for half a man.  You do not need someone who is not ready. You cannot expect a man to be able to handle you if he cannot even handle himself. If you’re a woman, then you need a man, not a boy.

Do not settle until you make sure it is God’s will. Nothing can be more miserable than a wrong choice of a “lifetime”. Yet nothing more wonderful than being secured, that where you are is where you should be.

Do not settle for someone who is not even certain that you are the “one”. You deserve more than being an option. You are not a “tester” nor a sample. You are a LIMITED EDITION of God’s precious masterpiece. Epitomize your worth!

Do not settle for someone who is afraid to lose. If love casts out fear, then that person doesn’t love you enough to be willing to do everything to win you. And don’t be sorry if he doesn’t have the backbone to pursue you, it just means that he values his ego more than your heart.

Do not settle for someone who only tries when things are comfortable. You are even more precious than diamonds. You do not need to get shallow to make it easier for a man to have you. The right man will not be contented picking up pebbles from the ground; he will be willing to find and search for you. Ask God for perseverance to wait for that man.

Do not settle for someone who is not willing to commit. You’ll know who’s just in a game and who’s armored for the battle. To settle without security is to give someone a permission to make your heart a toy. Never settle without commitment if you never want to get played.

Do not settle for someone who rushes to have your “yes”. Mostly, people who hurry are those who are either impatient or confused. Never give your “yes” just to anyone who asks for it, most especially to those who do not work for it. Save your “yes” for God’s best. Because to have the best, you must be determined to never settle for less.

Do not settle for someone who is not willing to wait. If that person is not willing to pay the price of waiting then he does not deserve the prize of having.  You are worth pursuing. You are worth more than being just a backup plan. If Christ thought you are worth dying for, then trust me, you are indeed worth waiting for.

Do not settle for someone who is fickle. No good woman is good enough for a man who is UNSTABLE. Nothing’s wrong with you – not your face, neither your figure, nor your fingernails. Never blame yourself if you can’t keep him! The problem was his covetous heart and immature mind. You can’t do anything with that but to let go lest you’ll always feel like you’re never enough.

Do not settle for someone whom you think you need to change. Forget the thought that this person needs you for him to be changed. His weakness is his weakness. Who he is now is who he will always be. He will be changed if he will. It’s either you’ll learn to accept him or struggle for the rest of your life hoping that he’d change. The one for you is exactly as he ought to be – not perfect but fit for you.

Do not settle for someone who insists on changing you to be who you are not. One sure thing about knowing if you are for each other is that you can genuinely be yourself without being rejected or replaced. Being improved is different from being manipulated. If he cannot accept your innate traits then he cannot really love the real you.

Do not settle for someone whose yes means uncertainty. If he can take for granted those promises he has made for you, then he does not really care about you – how you will feel and how it will affect your trust. How can you entrust your heart to someone who cannot even take care of his words, his integrity?

Do not settle for someone who does not share mutual faith.  To have someone in contrast with your faith is to have someone against your God. Always value your faith more than your feelings. To do so is to value your relationship with God more than anything or anyone else. And that is the best decision you can make because when feelings change, God remains.

Do not settle for someone who does not stand with your convictions. Never be deceived that the stronger carries the weaker. No! The weaker affects the race of the stronger in any sense by being a weight to lift instead of being a companion who cheers up. You wouldn’t want to raise children who do not know what to believe, would you? Then never compromise your convictions for God is not the author of confusion.

Do not settle for someone who does not pursue purity. Believe me, you deserve more than just being laid on a bed; you deserve to be walked down the aisle. You deserve a ring more than just promises. You deserve more than butterflies; you deserve something real. You deserve more than cuddles and kisses; you deserve to be embraced for a lifetime.

Do not settle for just the ordinary. They may say you’re too much picky or that your standards are too high. But as long as you keep it real and you know that you stand for the right, you never have to doubt nor be intimidated. Always aim for excellence regardless of what they say. What you think you deserve is what you will settle for.

Above all these, I know that I cannot keep you from saying “Yes”.

All I can do is to give you endless truths why you should not be afraid to give a “No”.

Because we have to understand that,

The greatest secret towards having God’s best is not actually by having but often times by letting go.

So, please…

do not settle until God tells you so.

 

With All My Heart, 

Your Fellow Rose