You’re here.
I believe you opened this letter because some parts of you pulled you to. They agreed that somehow, you tend to. They cannot deny, there are times you thought about giving up on those hearts you are trying to win. That maybe, right now, at the back of your head you have subconsciously yielded to the thought of losing hope in someone.

I just want you to know, you’re not alone.

It’s Monday today here at the corner of our planet where I’m sitting, seven twenty-six p.m. to be exact while I’m writing this.
Today is my self-assigned rest day but I’ve scheduled each Monday afternoon as my time for one of my favorite things to do. Guess what.

If you said writing, you’re almost right. But Monday is “Discipling Day.”

What do I mean?
I mean it’s a day for my girls. Those girls and not-so-girls-anymore whom God has entrusted to me to teach and bring closer to Jesus.
Well, before you get the idea that I’m a people person, let me be this honest.(Spoken in whispering voice) Once in the silliest times of my immaturity, I’ve written on my journal crazy thoughts like,

I hate people, Lord. I really don’t like people.”
And I mean it, at that time.

But before I give you the impression of me being anti-social, give me the chance to explain.
I’m a pastor’s kid, and when I said that I hope you know that I mean I don’t have the choice but to be exposed to people. Whether I like them or not. Whether they’d love me or hate me. Whether they’d come and go. Whether they’d be my bestest friends or my betrayers. And they all came in all of those forms leaving my heart afraid and broken countless times.

Could you blame me now?

For years I’ve despised them in my heart making me close any possible entry these intruders called “humans” might use to get in. I have built my highest invisible walls, so high it made me a prisoner of my own fears. I was that girl whose heart was the hardest to win. People around me can tell.
Years passed, and if you hoped to read that I’ve changed, I’m sorry but I didn’t. I’m still the same reserved soul who silently views each stranger as a possible enemy in disguise.
Fast forward to today, back to that seven twenty-six p.m. of writing this. That was just a few moments when I’ve told myself, “Loving souls and winning them to Jesus are the happiest, most rewarding things I’ve done and will always choose to do for the rest of my life.”
How did that happen?
I neither know how nor when. All I know is that Jesus changed my heart: from a heart that despisingly hates to a heart that miraculously loves people. Now it may be a gradual event that has scarcely taken place in me, but I can tell it is a distinct one.
As I look back, I can see unexpected instruments God has used to open the tightest clasps of my fists around my trembling heart. I never expected this nor dreamed about this to happen. But I’m glad God made it to take place. Had I not been this ever fulfilled in my life if He didn’t give me a new heart – a heart that loves not people, but much more than people — a heart that loves souls.

It was never easy.

There are times when I tend to lose hope in someone I’ve tried to win for years when she seems to show no signs of growth. There are times when I am tempted to put a tag on someone’s forehead and label her “impossible.”
There are times when I no longer wanted to mention someone in my prayers because it doesn’t seem to change anything.
There are times when I so wanted to just give up on someone I’ve been trying to win for years when she so stubbornly turned back despite everything, disregarding all my efforts.
But you know what kept me on this uncertain venture of winning people for Jesus?

It was God’s love.

Because if it were my heart alone, no good thing could it ever accomplish for others. It was that stubborn love that has melted my heart to love others too. Through His patience towards me, I slowly learned to be patient with others too. Through His unending forgiveness, I am learning to extend forgiveness too. Through His eyes, I was able to look beyond their flaws right through the needs of their dying souls.

It was never me.

I could never do that. I could never fake that.
I could never fool myself to be concerned about the salvation of those people whose names I don’t even care to know before.
I could never pretend to be fond of those kids with runny noses, bathe like only thrice a week, and hugs you without your consent.
I could never act like I love to meet with those girls in our neighborhood each rest day that I should be spending for my “me time.”
I could never waste my time teaching without a salary to expect those people whom you are never sure if they’d take your efforts seriously.
I could never love people the way I do now had God not changed my heart.

Along the way, this love was being tested again and again and know it will always be.

Storms come to shake it.
Droughts come to make it wither.
Fruitlesness comes to destroy its faith.
There are still times when I tend to buy the thoughts the enemy is whispering,
“You’re wasting your time, and money, and efforts on these people. Your prayers aren’t doing anything. Look at them, they’re here today but let’s wait for more years and they’ll be gone just like the other. You’re wasting your life spending it in them. Why not just spend it accomplishing your dreams? You can’t foolishly invest in people. Have you forgotten what others did?”

These thoughts are like those blackbirds that fly over and over your head and they come each time one of those souls you’re investing with is slowly drifting away. But now, I have a wiser heart that knows, I may not have a choice of what thoughts of doubts may fly over it, but I have the choice of whether I’d let them build a nest there. And so far, by God’s grace, my head is free from those blackbirds of doubt.
I’ve overcome. God has made my heart so filled with His love that it doesn’t have any space left anymore for bitterness and judgment to sit there. Because…

It will always be worth it.

Whether they’d stay or not, whether they’d grow or not, whether they’d walk along with me or not, still, I am persuaded, that anything done in the name of Jesus, whether you see its fruits or not, is never done in vain.
It’s not the result that God is after to; it is our faithfulness.
The fruits you wanted to see are just a bonus if you’d ever get to witness those. The real reward is in the very truth that God has given you that once-in-a-lifetime chance of winning those souls, not all could do. No, not even the angels.
So, hey! Cheer up!

Regardless of the results, if you are doing the faithful work of a soul-winner, you’re a winner.

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

Isaiah 55:11

One thought on “To You Who Are About To Give Up On People

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