I don’t want to talk about it.
Because to me, the word “brokenness” has been one of the ugliest words I’d ever write and the most horrorsome of the things I could never imagine would happen to me.
How it will happen, why it would happen, it just cringes my heart to think of it!
But it did.
Heartbreakingly, brokenness came —
like an unexpected storm that floods and drowns every hope in me;
like a strike of lightning that tears mercilessly, the veil of security I thought I had;
like a rolling rock that fell upon me, inflicting an excruciating pang I’ve never felt before;
like everything the word “painful” would fail to describe.
Brokenness happened, and one of these days, it might happen,
to anyone else born with a heart.
The longer you stay in this world, the more you will realize that in every corner of it are marks of imperfections, of unwanted histories — of breaking. And you’ll understand that brokenness is inevitable; it is part of the making of everything that exists.
And so if one day brokenness will come,
please welcome it with open arms. Embrace its thorns as tight as you can until you no longer feel the pain. Never wish it to pass, for it never will until its purposes are accomplished.
Brokenness has no face; it is ethereal — a formless rock in the hands of a sculptor: you are the sculptor, and your attitude is a chisel on your hand. Each strike of your response marks the surface of it. Unconsciously, unavoidably, your response leaves patterns none could erase.
You are the artist of your own brokenness. How you handle it is how you will define it: ugly or beautiful, brokenness is in the justice of your attitude.
I was never an expert on this, nor would I plan to be, but I’ve learned along the way that how you define brokenness defines you.
Two things: every shattered heart has the choice to look at its broken parts as flaws or chances. Flaws, one wishes to hide or erase, something that brings shame and devalues. And chances one sees as an opportunity for God to work through.
Chances. May you see brokenness as a God-given chance to work in you things that would never work out until brokenness took place.
Yes. Beautiful things like healing that you could never experience without pain.
There is something in the hands of the powerful and loving God that turns anything impossible into everything beautiful. Don’t you think it wise to offer this impossible thing you call “brokenness” into the hands of the God who makes everything beautiful?
Yes. Brokenness can be beautiful when surrendered into the hands of God.
Offer your heart to Him. Because if He knows what to do with the five loaves and two fishes that look so hopeless to feed the five thousand, He definitely knows what to do with your seemingly irreparable, broken heart.
Maybe, we have to be broken sometimes, like those bread and fishes, so God can accomplish more through us things that can never be done without breaking.
Maybe, brokenness is His best, yet the most misunderstood, expression of His wisdom and love. Because in the direst places of our hearts, when God is there, there is always hope. When brokenness is there, then there, hope will be:
for new beginnings,
for chances of blessings,
and for the gifts of learnings,
treasures that are nowhere to be found than in the darkest corners of our brokenness.
When the time comes and brokenness knocks on your door, may you remember,
brokenness is just another chance
to bloom in ways sublime.
We never realize that our heart is a desert in its worst drought until its surface breaks and we can never see the beauty of it until we allow the love of God to be poured out like rain on us. And there, when His love fills all the void of every corner of our brokenness, we will be witnesses that in our brokenness,
God actually meant us to bloom.
(Meditations in the book of Matthew Chapter 13)