To The Failing Mentor

You might have made mistakes. We all do. 

We all have this chapter in our story that we’d never want anyone to see. We might get discouraged because of our own selves. But we should realize that our flaws are the best tool that God could use to display His unconditional love and our weaknesses, His unfailing strength.
You might be failing over and over, but I hope you’ll also choose to rise again and again. And as you do, may you see those failures as an opportunity to set a good example of humility to others, portraying the beauty of repentance and restoration.

If we will all be honest, the people who influenced us the most are not those who lectured us with the most beautiful teachings but those who strived to live on them, by the grace of God. The people who encouraged us the most aren’t those who are without flaws, but those who thrived in the strength of the Lord despite their limitations. And the people who inspired us the most aren’t those who lived a perfect life, but those who admitted their mistakes and humbly received God’s forgiveness.

Stop discounting your victories by the quantity of your humiliating failures; start counting them by the quality of your humble repentance.

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Because our most triumphant days aren’t those when we never failed, but those days when we’ve chosen to stand up despite our failures.

Never hide your flaws. Never cover your scars. Let others see them and witness the beauty of restoration that genuine repentance can bring. Let them know that just like them, you are human too — flawed, sinner, unworthy — and just like you, they can find mercy from the perfect, holy, and loving God.

Remember, we set a good example to others not by building our reputation, but by maintaining a clear conscience towards God. Truly, all you have to do is to take care of your character and let God take care of your reputation.

Many things could discourage and make you quit the ministry. And when discouragements come to make you stop, may you remind yourself of these two things: why you started, and why you should finish this race. May your answer always be:

To hear my Master say, 

“Well done thou good and faithful servant!”

MATTHEW 25:23

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To The Discouraged Discipler

Nothing makes the heart glad than to see people growing in loving God more, yet nothing tortures the heart than seeing your spiritual children break the heart of their Father.

Sadly, one of the leader’s biggest sources of discouragement is the very people whom he leads. Those who handle people — discipling, teaching, and mentoring impossible beings — are apt to be discouraged by the very people they handle. Any job that deals with people must be the most stressful job one could ever have. Yet, the ministry is all about handling people as the word itself means service, and anyone who seeks to serve God must be willing to serve the very people whom He loves.

Do we have any other choice?

When the souls we’ve won for Jesus have drifted away from Him, do we have any other choice but to win them back to Him?
When the truths we’ve taught them were ignored, do we have the choice of ceasing to teach the truth?
And when all of our efforts fail, do we have the choice to be discouraged or to stop?

“Yes,” says the enemy.

“Choose to stop. Choose to be discouraged. Choose pride. Choose comfort. Choose yourself.”

“Look at you, where are all those efforts you’ve given? Where are those souls you’ve won? Where are all those people who used to serve God with you? They all come to nothing!”

“What a waste of time! If only you invested in other things instead of these stubborn people, you should’ve been happier now.”

You’ve heard this voice in your head, didn’t you?
And I bet you’ve listened to it sometimes —
those times when you doubted if prayer really works in their hearts and wondered if they will ever really come back,
those moments when you lost hope in them and in every soul you meet along the way,
those days when the fire you once had for the Lord started to get cold —
those are the times when you should remind yourself of all the “why’s” you have about being in this ministry. And as you do, may the reason you find be “love”, both for God and for His people. Because when love is the sole motivation, it might meet discouragement, it might meet rejection, but it will never quit — because love knows no end.

Let love always be your reason in the service, and you will find yourself thriving, regardless of the result.

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You might have been praying for them for a long time but you cannot see any progress, pray for them anyway. It is not your duty to change your circumstances. Leave the results to God.

You might have been teaching them truths over and over but you cannot see any changes in them, teach them any way. It is not your duty to change people. Leave the results to God.

You might have been winning and discipling souls for the Lord but all you see are just people who come and go, win souls anyway. Your duty is to sow and water seeds. Leave the results to God.

You might have been trying and giving all your best but they all seem to be never enough. But love remind you of how God never gave up on you. And may this be the same reminder for you to never give up on people too.

…And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

JOHN 21:17

If that is not your case, then save it for later. Perhaps, if discouragement comes not from the outside, it might be coming from the inside of you.

To The Failing Mentor, here’s a letter for you.

To The Unappreciated Leader

Let me guess.

You might be one of those who are unappreciated or the worst, disliked. They might’ve been comparing you to someone else they thought could do better than you. They even talked behind your back. Instead of gratitude for all your sacrifices and efforts, you’ve heard them say the meanest words in return. Instead of appreciation, insults. Instead of applause, indifference. Instead of encouragement, judgment.

Doesn’t this sound familiar?

Yes, you’ve read it a thousand times in the Bible, haven’t you?

Doesn’t it remind you of Your Savior who left His throne just to be crucified by the very hands He held dear?
Wasn’t He scorned by the very mouths He fed?
Wasn’t He disdained by the very eyes He made to see?
Wasn’t He left by the very feet He made to walk?
Wasn’t He rejected by the very hearts He loved?

And wasn’t Jesus aware of all your hurts?

Let us be reminded, that there is never a single pain that we feel Jesus has never felt. And let Him be our best example to never use our pains as a reason to quit, nor to hold grudges, but to honor the Father more. As we, just like Jesus, offer our pains to Him, trusting that someday He will turn them into praises.

Let your Savior remind you that your pains should never make you look back but look up to God — the One whose approval is your utmost goal. When this happens, nothing, surely nothing, of whatever this world might think or say of you will matter. This is why it is vital to always remind ourselves of “who” we are trying to please.

Let your pains point you to Jesus, the Author and the finisher of our faith.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

HEBREWS 12:1-3

But what could be more painful than seeing those whom you labored for in tears, those precious souls whom you’ve won for Jesus, slowly turn their backs on Him?

What could be more discouraging than watching all your hopes shatter as those people whom you pray for go back to the bondage of the world where they’re freed from?

To The Discouraged Discipler, here’s an open letter for you.

To The Faint Warrior: An Open Letter

Just so you know, I should be writing “Dear Self” instead, but I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I believe that behind the limelight, there must be a discouraged leader, teacher, or mentor, hiding in armor, so determined to project a strong warrior for everyone who expects them to be.

You might not admit but I know you’re scared. Yet, I still would like you to come out and take off that mask. Let us sit together: mentor to mentor.

I hope this will provide a safe space where you and I can be you and me — fellow human beings who are sometimes discouraged too. Actually, I was supposed to talk to my most common companion alone – myself – and give her a pep talk. But I thought of all of you, and somehow, the idea sounds better — that I’m not alone, we’re on this together, and that itself is an encouragement already.

And there you are! – reading my letter in that corner of your hiding place. Please know that I am thankful already that you let me in!

I wanted to know you more,

perhaps, ask you about your name, 

where you’re from, 

or if you’d prefer coffee or tea. 

But I know your time is precious, so forgive me if I’d just ask you straight: 

When did it all start?

What made you discouraged?

I’m sorry if ever those questions triggered an aching vein in your heart. I know it does every time you think of what happened. But sometimes, the best way to heal a wound is by locating it and hurting it straight, pouring that bitter truth on it. So let this hurt, and heal at once.

Your answer to that question might differ from mine. But we are in the same boat, we are all hurt and discouraged people.

Yes. The strong ones can be hurt too. Warriors can be weak too. And encouragers need encouragement too. We just don’t admit it sometimes but we are. Maybe we just have to learn that it takes strength to be honest and it takes honesty to be strong.

We have to realize that admitting our weakness is actually strength. Strong ones are strong because they do not hide; they face everything in truth.

Strong ones are strong because they do not hide; they face everything in truth.

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I hope you’re one of those who will be found strong enough to search your heart in the light of these truths —

To The Unappreciated Leader

To The Discouraged Discipler

To The Failing Mentor

These are open letters for you. I pray you would be brave and honest enough to open the ones for you.

When Loving Is A Struggle

Loving is easy —
until –the object of your love fails you,
until it shows you its ugliest parts,
until it betrays you,
until it breaks you,
until it does to you all the opposite of what you thought love would do.

So what would you do?
Of course, you’d deny now but your human heart would choose what’s easier — to hate.

Now you see, love isn’t for the weak. Love is for those strong enough — those who will not only pick a rose for its beauty but also will keep it with its thorns.

But do we have a choice?
As children of God who is a God of love, we are commanded to love, not only those who embrace us but also those who stab our back. Not only those who hold our hands but also those who slap our faces. Not only those who clothe us with praises but also those who rip us of our dignity.

And here comes the hardest and almost seemingly most impossible commandment of all:
“Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

And just like a child, you would mumble in disgust, “But why?”
doubting both your Father’s sympathy and empathy for His own child. None of us would understand the irrationality of this martyrdom that He wants us to do for our enemies. Until with His patient hands, He will lead us again to the cross where His Son was cursed, hated, and used, by the very same people He loved.

We thought of this commandment as impossible until Jesus Himself prove us wrong when on the cross HE PRAYED,
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

Doesn’t this slap us on our faces to use our “humanity” as an excuse for our pride when Jesus, in His Deity, humbled Himself by choosing to pray rather than to seek revenge when he had all the right to?
Doesn’t it embarrass us to realize that our sinless Savior chose to do good rather than evil when He had all the reason to?
Doesn’t it convict us to realize that our powerful Lord chose to bless rather than curse when He had all the ability to?
And doesn’t it humble us to realize that Jesus chose to love those who treated Him as their enemy when He had all the reasons to hate them?

May we be reminded that we are called to love the unlovable, simply because we are loved the same way.

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Yes, we’re not Jesus. But we are called to be like Him — because He is in us and we can! By His grace we can.

And to be like Jesus, we should pray like Him.
In situations where we find ourselves incapable of loving like Jesus, we could choose to pray like Him — to pray for those we find hard to love, and those we find impossible to forgive.

To love is never easy, but prayer will make it possible.

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When the command to love your enemy feels like torture to the heart, start praying for them. And there, you’ll find that your prayers are changing you when all you thought it was them who are to be changed. Because sometimes, the love you’re looking for must begin in you.
Sometimes the goodness you’re expecting to receive from others must first be given by you.
Sometimes the blessings you’ve been waiting for must first come from you.
And sometimes, the very reason why you are failing to love is because you are failing to pray.
If only every one of us is spending our time praying for each other, then we wouldn’t have time to hate each other. Because to pray is to love.

Nothing teaches the heart to truly love than to genuinely pray.
Remember,

Loving people are praying people.

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See: Matthew 5:43 – 48; Luke 23:34 KJV For reference verses